Barry Allen (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
supertardiness) wrote2017-06-24 08:38 pm
supertardiness) wrote2017-06-24 08:38 pm
Entry tags:
♫ running home to you ~ grant gustin
Barry tries his best to keep his promises.
He keeps Wally from going after Savitar half cocked. He tries his best to keep Joe together. They manage to stop Savitar together, and while Iris is still gone when the dust settles, it's better than the future that Barry had visited before it happened. It's not perfect - there's no way it was ever going to be perfect - but it's better.
Eventually, though, Barry begins to fray around the edges. He isn't built to be a supporter, or a caretaker, not when his own needs aren't being met. He tries to tell himself that he can push through this, for Iris, he can be better to prove that he was worthy of having her in the first place, but eventually even Joe an pick up on the fact that holding him to that vow isn't going to help anything in the long run.
"You need to go, Barry."
But I promised is what he tries to start with, but the words die on his lips as Joe cuts him off before he can even begin.
"I'm okay. Wally is okay." There's a pause, and he shakes his head. "Well, we're not okay, but we're not falling apart. The three of us - " Because this now includes Cecile, who tugged Joe close and refused to let go. " - will be fine. Now we need you to be okay too."
Cisco tells him the same soon after. "Just make sure wherever you go, you come back. Wally can handle it for a while, especially with Jesse here, but Central City still needs the Flash."
"I know."
"Where're you gonna go? Star City to see Felicity? See if Sara will take you on the Waverider?"
" ... Actually ... "
The rush of running between worlds is a thing that never gets old. Being fast enough to dip into the speed force and visit another place entirely is like diving into a pool of ice water, but when you come out the other side, you're buzzing with the frequency of how you don't quite fit, but it wants to accept you all the same. He bursts into the outskirts of National City, red and gold lightning creating a vibrant trail behind him as he skids to a stop in the place where they first met. It takes him a moment to catch his breath and reacclimate again, before he tries to figure out what exactly he's going to tell Kara when he shows up.
She's probably going to think there's some kind of trouble.
(There was. There is. Only this time, the trouble's in Barry himself, a swirling turmoil of emotions and anger that he doesn't know how to ground, not without Iris's guiding hand to show him the way.)
He glances up, rests his hands on his hips, and sighs.
"I probably should have called first."
Edited 2017-06-25 16:48 (UTC)
She does think there's some kind of trouble—the kind to fight, at first, so she's suited up—but when she sees him, she relaxes and looks a little bewildered as she goes in for the hug.
"Barry! Is everything all right? What are you doing here? It's so great to see you!"
There's a subtle change in her demeanor, one that's probably also familiar to Barry. Slightly less exuberance, a little less bounce in her step, but she's smiling and the hug is warm and friendly all the same.
"Barry! Is everything all right? What are you doing here? It's so great to see you!"
There's a subtle change in her demeanor, one that's probably also familiar to Barry. Slightly less exuberance, a little less bounce in her step, but she's smiling and the hug is warm and friendly all the same.
Barry returns the hug eagerly, sinking into the familiar hold and just giving himself a chance to breathe for a moment. There's no obligations here, no promises to keep, just being friends with Kara and having her be friends with him.
"It's good to see you too." He takes a deep breath as he pulls back. "And I was wondering if it'd be okay if I hung out for a bit?"
"It's good to see you too." He takes a deep breath as he pulls back. "And I was wondering if it'd be okay if I hung out for a bit?"
She's not less concerned when he makes his request, though she knows she doesn't need to panic at the moment. His world probably isn't collapsing (literally, anyway) but she can tell something is off.
"Of course! Of course you can. Absolutely. You're free to stay on my couch for as long as you need, if you don't mind that it's a studio. Otherwise the DEO definitely has some beds, or we can find something else for you.
"Are you okay?" The fact that he didn't answer her inquiry into how he was doesn't escape her notice.
"Of course! Of course you can. Absolutely. You're free to stay on my couch for as long as you need, if you don't mind that it's a studio. Otherwise the DEO definitely has some beds, or we can find something else for you.
"Are you okay?" The fact that he didn't answer her inquiry into how he was doesn't escape her notice.
Edited 2017-07-01 04:20 (UTC)
"Couch surfing totally works," he says with a relieved smile. Not that he thought that Kara would turn him down unless things were too complicated, but at the same it's not always easy when a friend from an alternate universe just drops in out of the blue.
And when she asks if he's okay, his face falls slightly. "Not really, no. I just ... I need a break." And then, after a beat where he feels guilty for not telling her the whole truth: "... Iris died."
And when she asks if he's okay, his face falls slightly. "Not really, no. I just ... I need a break." And then, after a beat where he feels guilty for not telling her the whole truth: "... Iris died."
"Wait, what?" Kara almost can't believe that she heard him correctly. It doesn't seem real in the least, but after the year she had, she can't discount anything. She reaches out to squeeze his hand.
"Let's go back to my place. You can tell me about what happened. I've got ice cream."
"Let's go back to my place. You can tell me about what happened. I've got ice cream."
Barry just nods, because he doesn't really want to get into it right here right now. He squeezes her hand in return, before offering a small smile, that at the same time, wasn't really much of a smile.
"Ice cream sounds really good right now. Lead the way."
"Ice cream sounds really good right now. Lead the way."
She lets go of his hand so she can take to the sky.
"Up, up, and away," though she's not particularly enthusiastic, just ready to get home and talk about things. It doesn't take them long at all to get to her apartment, where she quickly changes into more casual clothes and pulls a new gallon of ice cream out of the freezer.
"Tell me everything."
"Up, up, and away," though she's not particularly enthusiastic, just ready to get home and talk about things. It doesn't take them long at all to get to her apartment, where she quickly changes into more casual clothes and pulls a new gallon of ice cream out of the freezer.
"Tell me everything."
And he does. He unloads it all from the beginning, about how he saw it happening in the future, but was unable to change it. How he always seemed to be twelve steps behind and never knowing why. How he went to the future and confronting the version that had fallen apart when the woman he loved died, and for the worse.
He even told her how Savitar was actually a version of him. He still doesn't know how any version of himself could do what he did to Iris, but in the end, that time in the speed force, lost and forgotten, must have twisted everything that was good about who Barry once was and turned it into something terrible.
"I kept my promise this time, though. I was there for Wally and Joe and we took care of each other for a while, but ... I needed some space to sort out my own end of things, you know?"
He even told her how Savitar was actually a version of him. He still doesn't know how any version of himself could do what he did to Iris, but in the end, that time in the speed force, lost and forgotten, must have twisted everything that was good about who Barry once was and turned it into something terrible.
"I kept my promise this time, though. I was there for Wally and Joe and we took care of each other for a while, but ... I needed some space to sort out my own end of things, you know?"
Kara listens the whole time, her empathy written all over her face. When it seems like the right time, she gives him a hug— warm and firm.
"I understand completely. I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. Is there anything else I can do?"
"I understand completely. I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. Is there anything else I can do?"
Edited 2017-07-08 22:31 (UTC)
Barry takes the hug, and hugs her back in return, exhaling with a soft sigh. Even being here has taken some of the load off his shoulders, even if he feels guilty for thinking that, but it's true.
He needs to shoulder his own grief for a while. Not everyone else's.
"No, this helps way more than you realize." He pulls back with a small smile. "But if I can think of anything else, I will let you know. Besides, we've never had the chance to hang out without the end of the world on the line. We should just go have fun, like normal people."
Because they totally are that, with Barry being from another universe and everything.
He needs to shoulder his own grief for a while. Not everyone else's.
"No, this helps way more than you realize." He pulls back with a small smile. "But if I can think of anything else, I will let you know. Besides, we've never had the chance to hang out without the end of the world on the line. We should just go have fun, like normal people."
Because they totally are that, with Barry being from another universe and everything.
"Yeah, I'd like that. Maybe catch a movie, save some people, check out all the ice cream shops, finally decide who's fastest...I could use a staycation, too."
She doesn't really want to burden him with her issues, especially when it's Iris who's been killed, and Mon-El is still alive somewhere... not here. But she can't totally conceal the weight of her observation, either.
She doesn't really want to burden him with her issues, especially when it's Iris who's been killed, and Mon-El is still alive somewhere... not here. But she can't totally conceal the weight of her observation, either.
Barry has his moments of being caught up so much in his own head that he can miss the obvious. But with all of that weight finally being lifted, he can pick up on the melancholic nature of the woman sitting next to him.
Melancholy and the Girl of Steel do not normally go hand in hand.
"Is everything okay here?"
Melancholy and the Girl of Steel do not normally go hand in hand.
"Is everything okay here?"
She sighs before she can catch herself.
"It's been a busy few months over here, too."
And the part she doesn't want to say because it's still too fresh.
"Mon-El is gone. It's... a long story, but he had to leave Earth, and I don't think he can come back."
"It's been a busy few months over here, too."
And the part she doesn't want to say because it's still too fresh.
"Mon-El is gone. It's... a long story, but he had to leave Earth, and I don't think he can come back."
His face softens for a moment, before he reaches over to pull her into a hug this time. He had said that he was going to come here to seek some comfort of his own, but that doesn't mean he wants Kara suffering either.
"I'm sorry, Kara." He pauses for a moment, before tipping his head to the side. "Maybe I can help you figure it out so he can come back?"
"I'm sorry, Kara." He pauses for a moment, before tipping his head to the side. "Maybe I can help you figure it out so he can come back?"
She accepts the hug gratefully.
"Like I said, it's a long story. But we had to release lead into the atmosphere and if he came back to Earth it would kill him. He barely made it out as it was. Daxamites are particularly susceptible."
"Like I said, it's a long story. But we had to release lead into the atmosphere and if he came back to Earth it would kill him. He barely made it out as it was. Daxamites are particularly susceptible."
There's a part of Barry, the scientist part, that is wondering about how that is safe because inhaled lead dust is bad for everyone but that isn't the point of things right now. Right now, he's just worried about Kara.
"Okay, so scrubbing the atmosphere is a little out of my skill set. But maybe if me and Winn put our heads together, we can figure something out." He pulls back a bit and looks at her with a small smile. "You deserve to be happy, Kara. If I can help make that happen, I will."
"Okay, so scrubbing the atmosphere is a little out of my skill set. But maybe if me and Winn put our heads together, we can figure something out." He pulls back a bit and looks at her with a small smile. "You deserve to be happy, Kara. If I can help make that happen, I will."
"You're supposed to be here to forget your worries, not take on mine." But she leans her head on his shoulder, eyes welling with tears a bit.
"I wouldn't say no, though, obviously. I bet you and Winn could solve every problem put before you."
"I wouldn't say no, though, obviously. I bet you and Winn could solve every problem put before you."
"Yeah, well, maybe helping you will help me forget about mine." Not that he'll ever really forget. There's only so long he can go before he'll wind up thinking about Iris again, but he knows eventually the novelty of Earth-38 will wear off and he'd rather be useful.
"I'll talk to Winn, and we'll see what we can do?"
"I'll talk to Winn, and we'll see what we can do?"
"Thank you, Barry." She sighs, thankful that he's around.
"Man, it's good to see you. Seriously. So what do you say we eat this ice cream and see what's on tv?"
"Man, it's good to see you. Seriously. So what do you say we eat this ice cream and see what's on tv?"
"I think that sounds like an excellent idea," he grins before reaching for his own pint. "Time to find out what's different on Earth. What have you got in terms of comedies?"
"I'm sure we can find something good. I know you like musicals... do you guys have Crazy Ex-Girlfriend?"
"Yes!" Barry lights up a bit as she mentions it. "I've been meaning to check it out, but I haven't had the time."
"Same! Let's make time right now." She navigates the DVR. "It's weird how some things are so consistent."
"It's true." Some things are so similar between their worlds, but at the same time, there are those slight differences that keep things interesting. "But I guess it really comes down to the slightest differences, and there are so many different Earths out there, you know."
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