He keeps Wally from going after Savitar half cocked. He tries his best to keep Joe together. They manage to stop Savitar together, and while Iris is still gone when the dust settles, it's better than the future that Barry had visited before it happened. It's not perfect - there's no way it was ever going to be perfect - but it's better.
Eventually, though, Barry begins to fray around the edges. He isn't built to be a supporter, or a caretaker, not when his own needs aren't being met. He tries to tell himself that he can push through this, for Iris, he can be better to prove that he was worthy of having her in the first place, but eventually even Joe an pick up on the fact that holding him to that vow isn't going to help anything in the long run.
"You need to go, Barry."
But I promised is what he tries to start with, but the words die on his lips as Joe cuts him off before he can even begin.
"I'm okay. Wally is okay." There's a pause, and he shakes his head. "Well, we're not okay, but we're not falling apart. The three of us - " Because this now includes Cecile, who tugged Joe close and refused to let go. " - will be fine. Now we need you to be okay too."
Cisco tells him the same soon after. "Just make sure wherever you go, you come back. Wally can handle it for a while, especially with Jesse here, but Central City still needs the Flash."
"I know."
"Where're you gonna go? Star City to see Felicity? See if Sara will take you on the Waverider?"
" ... Actually ... "
The rush of running between worlds is a thing that never gets old. Being fast enough to dip into the speed force and visit another place entirely is like diving into a pool of ice water, but when you come out the other side, you're buzzing with the frequency of how you don't quite fit, but it wants to accept you all the same. He bursts into the outskirts of National City, red and gold lightning creating a vibrant trail behind him as he skids to a stop in the place where they first met. It takes him a moment to catch his breath and reacclimate again, before he tries to figure out what exactly he's going to tell Kara when he shows up.
She's probably going to think there's some kind of trouble.
(There was. There is. Only this time, the trouble's in Barry himself, a swirling turmoil of emotions and anger that he doesn't know how to ground, not without Iris's guiding hand to show him the way.)
He glances up, rests his hands on his hips, and sighs.
She does think there's some kind of trouble—the kind to fight, at first, so she's suited up—but when she sees him, she relaxes and looks a little bewildered as she goes in for the hug.
"Barry! Is everything all right? What are you doing here? It's so great to see you!"
There's a subtle change in her demeanor, one that's probably also familiar to Barry. Slightly less exuberance, a little less bounce in her step, but she's smiling and the hug is warm and friendly all the same.
Barry returns the hug eagerly, sinking into the familiar hold and just giving himself a chance to breathe for a moment. There's no obligations here, no promises to keep, just being friends with Kara and having her be friends with him.
"It's good to see you too." He takes a deep breath as he pulls back. "And I was wondering if it'd be okay if I hung out for a bit?"
She's not less concerned when he makes his request, though she knows she doesn't need to panic at the moment. His world probably isn't collapsing (literally, anyway) but she can tell something is off.
"Of course! Of course you can. Absolutely. You're free to stay on my couch for as long as you need, if you don't mind that it's a studio. Otherwise the DEO definitely has some beds, or we can find something else for you.
"Are you okay?" The fact that he didn't answer her inquiry into how he was doesn't escape her notice.
"Couch surfing totally works," he says with a relieved smile. Not that he thought that Kara would turn him down unless things were too complicated, but at the same it's not always easy when a friend from an alternate universe just drops in out of the blue.
And when she asks if he's okay, his face falls slightly. "Not really, no. I just ... I need a break." And then, after a beat where he feels guilty for not telling her the whole truth: "... Iris died."
"Wait, what?" Kara almost can't believe that she heard him correctly. It doesn't seem real in the least, but after the year she had, she can't discount anything. She reaches out to squeeze his hand.
"Let's go back to my place. You can tell me about what happened. I've got ice cream."
Barry just nods, because he doesn't really want to get into it right here right now. He squeezes her hand in return, before offering a small smile, that at the same time, wasn't really much of a smile.
"Ice cream sounds really good right now. Lead the way."
She lets go of his hand so she can take to the sky.
"Up, up, and away," though she's not particularly enthusiastic, just ready to get home and talk about things. It doesn't take them long at all to get to her apartment, where she quickly changes into more casual clothes and pulls a new gallon of ice cream out of the freezer.
And he does. He unloads it all from the beginning, about how he saw it happening in the future, but was unable to change it. How he always seemed to be twelve steps behind and never knowing why. How he went to the future and confronting the version that had fallen apart when the woman he loved died, and for the worse.
He even told her how Savitar was actually a version of him. He still doesn't know how any version of himself could do what he did to Iris, but in the end, that time in the speed force, lost and forgotten, must have twisted everything that was good about who Barry once was and turned it into something terrible.
"I kept my promise this time, though. I was there for Wally and Joe and we took care of each other for a while, but ... I needed some space to sort out my own end of things, you know?"
[ It's been a few weeks since Barry showed up on Kara's Earth, and it's not that she's unappreciative of the situation he's in. She did offer him her couch, after all, and they get along like a house on fire. But the lack of privacy wears on her. They moved her screen between the living spaces and he's very quick about cleaning up—not to mention his breakfast skills are very much appreciated. She doesn't feel justified in being frustrated because he's a great guest, but her cheery veneer is wearing thin ]
Winn has the day off so he offered to give me a tour of his favorite spots in National City. He says there's a bar we can meet up at after you're done work?
[While Barry can be a little oblivious on how Much he can be, he can get the sense that Kara's wanting a little more space, so he figures that playing tourist with someone else for a little while might help a little.]
[At first staying with Kara was fun, but he's starting to recognize the thinness of her tone when he's pushing his luck, and Alex has been dropping hints that maybe he's overstaying his welcome a little.
The problem is, he isn't sure he's ready to go home, but he doesn't know how to give Kara more space. #alternateuniverseproblems]
Maybe I should crash at Winn's for a bit? Give you a little space?
It was really weird. Winn even notices that Barry is being weird and Barry tries to shrug it off as being nothing but in the end, that one small gesture pretty much upended his views of his relationship with Kara at the moment. And in a lot of ways, it was more his own reaction to it than anything else. It isn't that it bothered him because Kara wasn't Iris.
It bothered him because it didn't bother him.
Spending so much of his life has been spent being in love with Iris, even in the times he's tried to move on with other women, that he just expected to still keep loving her, even though she was gone. The idea that he might be moving on is both comforting and terrifying all at the same time.
Which is why, when he and Winn are waiting for Kara at the bar, Winn is giving him a look of concern as he taps his pencil against the table.
"Dude, if you keep going with that pencil it might phase through the table."
Barry blinks, before shaking his head and placing the pencil to the side.]
[ Kara steels herself (so to speak) before going into the bar. deep breath, face forward, it wasn't weird if you don't make it weird. friends kiss all the time, right? Like, in France it's totally normal. Totally 100% an everyday thing. Maybe it was a thing on Krypton, Barry doesn't know! Except even thinking that feels wrong to its core. Krypton was never much on physical affection and anyway, she hadn't done it on any of the previous six million times they'd parted ways. Okay, so scratch that.
Just be normal. Be normal be normal be normal it's fine. It's fine! It's really not a big deal at all. It won't be weird if you don't make it weird, Kara. Just walk in like everything's normal. They're her friends! Her guy friends. Who she's both kissed.
Okay, but can a kiss on the cheek really be considered a KISS kiss? Isn't it just a friendly peck? Here we go, back to France. Maybe she could just GO to France! That would definitely solve something...
Before she even realizes it, she's meeting up with them at the bar, grin plastered on her face ]
[The word comes out a little startled and surprised, possibly because he was pretty sure Kara was never going to want to talk to him again, at least on a one-on-one basis, but he straightens a bit before glancing to Winn, almost as though to ask if it's okay with a silent question of his own.
The other man nods, waving his hand in their direction. "Go. Discuss. I'll be here when you're done."]
[ They walk over to a quiet corner of the bar, away from Winn's prying eyes (hopefully). she sits down in a booth and straightens her skirt and pushes her hair behind her ear, and is very interested in the water glass in front of her ]
Um, so, I thought we should talk about... earlier.
I just, you know, I didn't— Total autopilot... You know how it is.
[There's a moment where his face falters, just briefly. It's not the brush off that he minds. He should have seen it coming, really, because of course that's what it was. He might have done the same thing in her position, thinking of someone else.
Or maybe it says something that part of him wasn't wishing that it was someone else. Maybe that means he's finally starting to move on.]
Right. Right, yeah of course. Don't worry about it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
supertardiness) wrote2017-06-24 08:38 pm
hard to see when it's all flying past
Barry tries his best to keep his promises.
He keeps Wally from going after Savitar half cocked. He tries his best to keep Joe together. They manage to stop Savitar together, and while Iris is still gone when the dust settles, it's better than the future that Barry had visited before it happened. It's not perfect - there's no way it was ever going to be perfect - but it's better.
Eventually, though, Barry begins to fray around the edges. He isn't built to be a supporter, or a caretaker, not when his own needs aren't being met. He tries to tell himself that he can push through this, for Iris, he can be better to prove that he was worthy of having her in the first place, but eventually even Joe an pick up on the fact that holding him to that vow isn't going to help anything in the long run.
"You need to go, Barry."
But I promised is what he tries to start with, but the words die on his lips as Joe cuts him off before he can even begin.
"I'm okay. Wally is okay." There's a pause, and he shakes his head. "Well, we're not okay, but we're not falling apart. The three of us - " Because this now includes Cecile, who tugged Joe close and refused to let go. " - will be fine. Now we need you to be okay too."
Cisco tells him the same soon after. "Just make sure wherever you go, you come back. Wally can handle it for a while, especially with Jesse here, but Central City still needs the Flash."
"I know."
"Where're you gonna go? Star City to see Felicity? See if Sara will take you on the Waverider?"
" ... Actually ... "
The rush of running between worlds is a thing that never gets old. Being fast enough to dip into the speed force and visit another place entirely is like diving into a pool of ice water, but when you come out the other side, you're buzzing with the frequency of how you don't quite fit, but it wants to accept you all the same. He bursts into the outskirts of National City, red and gold lightning creating a vibrant trail behind him as he skids to a stop in the place where they first met. It takes him a moment to catch his breath and reacclimate again, before he tries to figure out what exactly he's going to tell Kara when he shows up.
She's probably going to think there's some kind of trouble.
(There was. There is. Only this time, the trouble's in Barry himself, a swirling turmoil of emotions and anger that he doesn't know how to ground, not without Iris's guiding hand to show him the way.)
He glances up, rests his hands on his hips, and sighs.
"I probably should have called first."
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"Barry! Is everything all right? What are you doing here? It's so great to see you!"
There's a subtle change in her demeanor, one that's probably also familiar to Barry. Slightly less exuberance, a little less bounce in her step, but she's smiling and the hug is warm and friendly all the same.
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"It's good to see you too." He takes a deep breath as he pulls back. "And I was wondering if it'd be okay if I hung out for a bit?"
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"Of course! Of course you can. Absolutely. You're free to stay on my couch for as long as you need, if you don't mind that it's a studio. Otherwise the DEO definitely has some beds, or we can find something else for you.
"Are you okay?" The fact that he didn't answer her inquiry into how he was doesn't escape her notice.
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And when she asks if he's okay, his face falls slightly. "Not really, no. I just ... I need a break." And then, after a beat where he feels guilty for not telling her the whole truth: "... Iris died."
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"Let's go back to my place. You can tell me about what happened. I've got ice cream."
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"Ice cream sounds really good right now. Lead the way."
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"Up, up, and away," though she's not particularly enthusiastic, just ready to get home and talk about things. It doesn't take them long at all to get to her apartment, where she quickly changes into more casual clothes and pulls a new gallon of ice cream out of the freezer.
"Tell me everything."
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He even told her how Savitar was actually a version of him. He still doesn't know how any version of himself could do what he did to Iris, but in the end, that time in the speed force, lost and forgotten, must have twisted everything that was good about who Barry once was and turned it into something terrible.
"I kept my promise this time, though. I was there for Wally and Joe and we took care of each other for a while, but ... I needed some space to sort out my own end of things, you know?"
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So, any plans for the day?
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[Kind of.]
Winn has the day off so he offered to give me a tour of his favorite spots in National City. He says there's a bar we can meet up at after you're done work?
[While Barry can be a little oblivious on how Much he can be, he can get the sense that Kara's wanting a little more space, so he figures that playing tourist with someone else for a little while might help a little.]
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[ she sighs ]
It's not that I don't love having you as a guest, I totally do.
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[At first staying with Kara was fun, but he's starting to recognize the thinness of her tone when he's pushing his luck, and Alex has been dropping hints that maybe he's overstaying his welcome a little.
The problem is, he isn't sure he's ready to go home, but he doesn't know how to give Kara more space. #alternateuniverseproblems]
Maybe I should crash at Winn's for a bit? Give you a little space?
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You got it. And if you ever need me to just go run around for a few hours and give you some space, all you have to do is say so.
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And who knows, maybe we'll have some work to do. It's been unusually quiet.
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[He's clearly teasing because no one is scared of the Flash ever.]
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So that was weird.
It was really weird. Winn even notices that Barry is being weird and Barry tries to shrug it off as being nothing but in the end, that one small gesture pretty much upended his views of his relationship with Kara at the moment. And in a lot of ways, it was more his own reaction to it than anything else. It isn't that it bothered him because Kara wasn't Iris.
It bothered him because it didn't bother him.
Spending so much of his life has been spent being in love with Iris, even in the times he's tried to move on with other women, that he just expected to still keep loving her, even though she was gone. The idea that he might be moving on is both comforting and terrifying all at the same time.
Which is why, when he and Winn are waiting for Kara at the bar, Winn is giving him a look of concern as he taps his pencil against the table.
"Dude, if you keep going with that pencil it might phase through the table."
Barry blinks, before shaking his head and placing the pencil to the side.]
Oh, sorry.
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Just be normal. Be normal be normal be normal it's fine. It's fine! It's really not a big deal at all. It won't be weird if you don't make it weird, Kara. Just walk in like everything's normal. They're her friends! Her guy friends. Who she's both kissed.
Okay, but can a kiss on the cheek really be considered a KISS kiss? Isn't it just a friendly peck? Here we go, back to France. Maybe she could just GO to France! That would definitely solve something...
Before she even realizes it, she's meeting up with them at the bar, grin plastered on her face ]
Sorry for what?
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[And Barry does his best to plaster on his own grin before inching his chair to the side to give Kara room to pull in and sit.]
How was your day?
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Shockingly uneventful, actually.
[ Her tone changes slightly. Barry may recognize it as trying to play off nervousness ]
[ To Winn: ] I was hoping I could grab Barry for a moment? [ To Barry: ] If that's okay?
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[The word comes out a little startled and surprised, possibly because he was pretty sure Kara was never going to want to talk to him again, at least on a one-on-one basis, but he straightens a bit before glancing to Winn, almost as though to ask if it's okay with a silent question of his own.
The other man nods, waving his hand in their direction. "Go. Discuss. I'll be here when you're done."]
Thanks.
[And back to Kara:]
Lead the way.
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Um, so, I thought we should talk about... earlier.
I just, you know, I didn't— Total autopilot... You know how it is.
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Or maybe it says something that part of him wasn't wishing that it was someone else. Maybe that means he's finally starting to move on.]
Right. Right, yeah of course. Don't worry about it.
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[ she lightly (for her) punches him in the shoulder AS BROS DO ]
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